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To you. by `breaking-reality:iconbreaking-reality:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Spoken Word

©2003-2009 `breaking-reality
:iconbreaking-reality:

Artist's Comments

::shrugs::

Structure.

It started out as a letter to him.
Him...


Anyway. I don't know if I like it. Or if you will like it. The structure just came out. I didn't try. I didn't think ahead. I just wrote as I thought. I don't know if it's good. And I don't know if anyone has a right to tell me if it is or not. Art is left to interpretation. So do what you do best, assume, interpret, analyze. Like it, hate it. Do the same with me.

::shrugs and walk away::

Thanks for your time.

Critiques


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Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconwickedgiggle:
~wickedgiggle Dec 31, 2003, 12:54:51 AM
Wow a like the composition of that a lot. I like how certain words like 'you' and 'me' are all by themself, sort of illustrates the separation between the two people.

And :hug: I've been through similar ... 'love' can be so hit and miss. It's hard to trust yourself when pretty much everyone you ever thought you loved, you later find out you didn't, or they didn't. *sigh* that's life.

Great poem though. :)

--
Too much sobriety is bad for a willful mind.

WickedGiggle.com | LiveJournal
:iconbreaking-reality:
`breaking-reality Dec 31, 2003, 12:57:36 AM
::nods::

I just remembered a lot of things tonight.

A lot of good things. A lot of bad. And I didn't really feel either way. I felt neutral.

::shrugs::

--
Samantha J. Ballard
:iconredness:
~redness Dec 31, 2003, 1:24:38 AM
omg that made me :cries:
I know what your going through ive been through it myself. If hurts like hell when something you wished so hard would work ends... But in the end at least I have found that you have learnt something from it all.

Amazing piece :)

--
=AomiArmster -
CHAN WILL BURN YOUR FACE WTH SUGAR CANES FROM THE DARKEST DEPTHS OF HELL she has a sugar plantation DO NOT FORGET
:iconjustsomelameguy:
~justsomelameguy Dec 31, 2003, 1:24:42 AM
Perhaps "neutral" is the best way to approach a touchy subject such as this...? Regardless, I have to say that I was shaken by this poem. If that was what you wanted from your readers, congratulations. :) If not, then I leave you with this:

"Remarkable" would be an understatement.

--
"Don't you see? I'm holding my own urine in a cup... because I have responsibilities."

-Space Ghost
:iconbreaking-reality:
`breaking-reality Dec 31, 2003, 1:29:47 AM
Wow. ::blinks::

I didn't think people would actually like it. :O_o:

Anyway, nuetral probably was the best way to tackle this. I had a happy mental breakdown type thing tonight while driving around. Very interesting, those things.

:)

--
Samantha J. Ballard
:iconbreaking-reality:
`breaking-reality Dec 31, 2003, 1:31:13 AM
::nods::

I learned a lot from him. More than I'd ever let him on to, I think.

::shrugs::

The best lessons are taught through experience, I suppose.

--
Samantha J. Ballard
:iconfdpiech:
~fdpiech Dec 31, 2003, 4:35:50 AM
:cry:

:hug:

:thumbsup:

--
I just show you the world around you that you've forgetten to notice.

Bluff City Galleries
The Memphis Photographer
:iconbled-for-you:
~bled-for-you Dec 31, 2003, 6:03:20 AM
I don't know what to say..I'm in awe..speachless(sp?)

One part really tore at my heart

"You.
Me.
Us.
Well, I suppose it was never us.
Just always you
and me.
Sitting next to eachother.
Watch me cry.
Watch my tears fall.
Feel my pain.
Eat my pain
as if it were a
delicacy."

Just..beautiful..

--
Wish you were here...
:iconcrazy-jane:
~crazy-jane Dec 31, 2003, 7:41:39 AM
I think it's wonderful.

Especially the structure. ...I think I've really embraced the idea that poetry can be visual...

...what I mean in all my rambling is...

...it's wonderful. :)

--
*shifty eyes*

Sign Reads: "You have just entered Miss Katherine and Lady Chrissy country. No littering, and please avoid the bitterness."
:iconbreaking-reality:
`breaking-reality Dec 31, 2003, 8:56:02 AM
::nods::

Poetry can be visual.


Thank you. :)

--
Samantha J. Ballard
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